I feel like writing so I am going to write, then get dressed and then do homework.

Well, On Wednesday I gave up most social network sites untill the start of December, so that's my Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, Tumblr ... I think that was it? Shit lol, it was MSN I gave up as well which has been kinda hard how could I forget. Anyway I'm still allowing myself on DeviantART and Youtube because it's a hard thing to do regardless if I still go on these sites.

The reason for it? Well I decided I needed to really and truely get a grip. I distract myself far far far too much and I've got courswork to do and mocks coming up and if I fail it will be so stupid seeing as if I try I can do well. I really feel like I need to sort things out and regain perspective over things. I know it's probably boring and conventional but I want to do well at school. Because I want to go to a really interesting big art school where I meet lots of amazing people.

Also, in two weeks time we've pretty much got to choose our A Level subjects for next year which has really given me things to think about. But I think I've decided what I am going to take finally - Art, Philosophy, Spanish and French. I did quite want to do history but I think it's time to take something new and philosophy and thinking about things in depth has always interested me.

I think next year at school will be hard work but enjoyable. Taking just the subjects I've chosen, having frees I can spend doing lots of Art. No uniform - self expression. Being 16. I'm really looking forward to it. Just more freedom in general to do what I want to do. However, when I put things into persective although I am happy this is soon, I am sad it is as well. Where I live we have sixth forms and most people continue at the school they've been going to since we were 11. However, we can change for sixth form and a few of best mates is because they are going to a school which is better for the sciences. And although it's like 5 mins from the school I'm at, it's going to be sad to have them missing from a group of "rejects".

Despite that disappointment, next academic year will be good. All I've got to do now is study so I can get good grades so I will not close doors on myself. I find English quite hard but I really need to strive to get a good grade in English language as I need it to go the uni I'd like to go to. I know that with work, I can achieve, but I just spend most of my time being unmotivated and depressed. Hence why I've given up the websites, it will help towards it. Untill I'm in control I think I wont go on them. They distract me too much, if I do badly because of a silly internet addiction, laziness and procrastination I will shoot myself, because it's not as if I'm not capable of doing well in a lot of subjects.

If anyone want to talk to me you can e-mail me btw, I will reply, it's just msn and social networking sites are really time wasting for me.

Ciao for now, hopefully an other update soon.